In The Now

In The Now

And I'm
Too old
To get
Inspired
By what
I was before
Back when
22 and
Grad school
Was accepted

Inspired
By women
But now
That comes
Off as
Creepy

V-necks
And skinny jeans
Standard wardrobe
Replaced by
Ties and
Slacks

As if I
Don't
Slack
Off enough
In real
Life
Or work
These days

And at this
Age
I'm Afraid
To still
Grow up
Because
By now
I expected
Myself
To be
Or at least
Settled

But change
To
Stay the
Same
Against
The flow

But when
I find
My flow
My goal
As I
Grow

Maybe
This
Will
Get easier
Or I'll
At least
Accept it
Better

Because
I'll never
Relive
The past
Again
So I
Guess I have
To live
In the now

Settling Down

Settling Down

As the
Time
Ticks on
By the days
And months

All the
Attempts
And hopes
With you
Have failed

Of something
I knew
But you
Just couldn't
See

Maybe
I'm too
Old
Acting
Or you're
Too young
Looking

But when
The day
Comes
That
Somehow
Our
Ages finally
Agree
To meet

I'll
Be past
The thought
Of you

Not Alone

Not Alone

Up at
5:43 AM
The sheets
Half removed
From the
Bed

The smell
Of
Cigarettes

While the
Taste
Of alcohol
From a
Wasted
Night

To go home
With her
Is
At least
Not alone

Anxious

Anxious

Anxious to feel
Anxious
About something
What
I'm not sure

If I could Put
My finger on it
I'd be
Lying

A beer with Dinner
Normal enough
To make me
Sick

As hours later
My stomach
Turns
Twisting
In and out
Of line
And in space

A cup of
Tea
To clam me
Down

Speed things up
These days
It's hard to
Tell

But I tell you
This it's hard to
Sleep
Sleep with
These thoughts

Anxious enough
Something
I can't put
My finger on
Or off
Something
I can't get
Off of my mind

Love & War

Love & War

And
In the
Deepest
Darkest
Moments
When all
Hope fails
And the
Towel
Has been
Thrown

You know
The white
The light
Hasn't
Completely
Disappeared

When we
Give up
We give
Up
To secretly
Hope
Wish
Dream
One
Last time
For that
Last
Chance

Second
Hopes
Granted
Tonight
Unlike
Other nights
When
It
Shouldn't

And
Because
Of that
It causes
Lost hope
But
Great
Reward

Simple
Concepts:
With war
There is
Love
And with
Love
There is
War

Without
Love
There is
War

And
Without
War
There is
Love

Ambulances In The Night

Ambulances In The Night

I saw her
Last night
In the middle
Of the street
Passed out
Maybe conscious
Not dead
I hope not

Someone calls
911
And soon
Ambulances
In the night
Arrive without
Warning
Disguised
As angles
To save her
Life

I stand
Frozen in
Fear and
Helplessness
I watch
As they
Taker her
Away

The next day
I stand in the
Same spot
Where she lied

Wondering
If she’s
Alive
If she’s
All right
If she
Made it
Through the
Night

I say
A prayer
And walk
Away
Knowing
Her life
Will be
Changed
Changed forever
Today

Let A Good Thing Die

Let A Good Thing Die

I have a
Bad habit
Of watching
Letting
A good thing
Die

I do it
Sometimes
Like this
One time

I met a girl
Who I actually
Like
And she actually
Liked me
Who knew

A simple
Moment
To throw it
Off
Enough
To let
A good thing
Die

Severe
What’s left
Delete her
Number
Never
Talk to her
Again

I lose
Interest
Things might have
Worked out
But I digress

I let her die
A good thing
Die
Because
I don’t want
To lose
So I let it
Die
Before anything
Can be made
Of it

Shallow Friends and Even Shallower Love

Shallow Friends and Even Shallower Love

Wow,
How shallow can you be
There’s no love
None here for me

How low does this go
To believe what I believe
These thoughts of love

Wasted time
I paid it by the dime
Like a little kid at a candy store
And before I knew
My pockets were empty

Fuck it
That’s shallow
The talk
The walk
The clothes
All the way down to your toes

The lies
They taste like blueberry pies
Starting off sweet
But then turning sour

Don’t believe it
Shallow friends
And even shallower love

My Morning Made

My Morning Made

Waking
Up next
To you
Seeing your
Smile

It
Made my
Morning
Made my
Day

It was
Priceless

Yes Please

Yes Please

So here
Goes
Nothing:

I love
You
And
Gosh
You're
Beautiful
And to
Me
More than
The world

And knowing
You
For
Awhile now
Still
Feels
Like
We met
Just
Yesterday

Because
When
Your hand
Meets
Mine
I still
Get
Goosebumps

And truest
Of true
Heartbeats
Mine
Beats for
You

Yes please
I like
You
Head over
Heels
Just you
And no one
Else

Lonely Enough

Lonely Enough

The
Seconds
Tick
Off the
Clock
Friday night

And the
Water
Drips
A leaky
Faucet
A dripping
Reminder
Of
How
I've
Slipped
Away

The wall
Hasn't
Changed
In the
Past
Four
Hours
I've watched
It
From my
Bed

I stay
Busy
Because
That's better
Than
Lonely

Lonely
Enough
Because
I don't
Want
To feel
Alone tonight
For once
Enough
For a while

And
Maybe
After
All this
Shit
Is through
And when
She leaves
My head
And my
Heart

I finally
Won't
Feel
Alone

The Other Side of the Mountain

The Other Side of the Mountain

And past
Relationships
Pin points
Are made
Occasions
Moments
Timing
Whether
Off or on

And I
Reach
A thought
Where
The moments
Time
Is
As good
As it
Gets
The peak
Of a
Mountain

And
As if
Almost
Instantly
Pushing
Away
From relationships
Alienation

Starting
Back
At
Ground zero
Unintentional
Feelings
No longer
Found

But this
Time
Her
She does
Things
Differently
And if
I'm scared
Her calm
Eyes
Bring me
Back

Different
Because
I see
With her
There's
No peak
No climax
In this
Relationship

I'm right here
Right
Next to
Her
Always found

Reality Lies

Reality Lies

And reality
Lies
As I
Go to
Bed
In my head
I think
Of how
I wished
It could be
You and me

And now
Today
I realize
It can
Never
Be that
Way

And
After all
This
Our shared
First kiss

The moments
We shared
We were
Perfectly
Paired

But
For you
And me
We
Were
Never meant
To be

Officially Broken

Officially Broken

If decisions
Were to be
Made
Tonight
Would be
The
Biggest
Mistake

Alcohol
Cures
Everything
Until
The next
Morning's
Pounding
Reminder

Hearts
No longer
Beating
So might
As well
Remove it

Surgery
They say
Is the
Easiest
Solution

And
Hope
For what
They find
Doesn't
Pan out
As my
Heart's
All to
Frail
Weak
To beat
Alone
On its
Own

And they
Say
In life
There's
Hearts
To be broken
And
Hearts
To be made
But I don't
Want to
Do
Any of the
Taking
Or creating
Right now

And
As the
Defibrillator
Sparks
Anything
Of love
Left
In my
Heart

No
Pulse
Sparks
The screen

No longer
Available

No longer
Beating

Dead
And officially
Broken

Her Audience

Her Audience

An audience
Her audience
To play
For
A show
To behold
Or just
Ignore
My attempts
To talk
To her

Impressively
Unimpressive
My summer
Tales
Deeds
Adventures

But
Your
Fashioned
Shirt
Of
The band
I saw
This summer
Keeps me
Intrigued

Drinks
Had
Over conversations
With respective
People
Sitting
On our
Sides

As I try
To reel
You
Back in
Of stunts
And accents

And
As the
Night
Passes
Drinks
On the
Rocks
Dim
Lights
Light up

Shaking
Hands
Offering
Walks
Home
She
Politely
Declines

Choosing
Close
Girlfriends
Walking
Arm
And Arm
Out

But
Not
Before
She unknowingly
Slips
Her
Digits
With
"call me"
Underneath

An audience
Her
Tonight
Hopefully
Tomorrow
Too

Stepping Out

Stepping Out

And I
Give up
On it
All love
Says
And
Does

Cause
When
Someone
Steps
Out
On you
For smokes
Among
Other things

Least
Of all
Worries

And
Causing
Everything
Anything
Good
To break
Down

And
As
Stepping out
Could
Damage
Weakens
Things
Mind
Body
Soul

Love
The
Unknowingly
Even
When
Steps
Taken
Away
From
One's self

Until
Those
Steps
Out
Never
Return